These skills will make you a great UX designer, but also an enjoyable person to work with

When I was in college, there was a lot of emphasis on tangible skills. I learned what, rather than why or with whom.

Now that I have been working as a UX designer for about 2 years , I realized its more nuanced than getting assigned a task with a clear plan of execution where you just read the instruction manual and do. What I am hinting at is the wildly essential component of soft skills. Although, I really don’t like that word at all because it has a fluffy connotation to it. And if you have ever been in the position to speak up for yourself, have hard conversations, or be vulnerable about something at work — it takes a lot of courage to muster through.

As I have allowed myself to flex muscles that allow me to build better working relationships, I learned that it’s a win-win situation when I can harbor these interpersonal skills and what benefits it yields for collaboration with your manager, project manager, content strategists, and yourself. Because I know that I am more motivated and inspired when I am enjoying myself at work.

The list of interpersonal skills I am highlighting are:

• Trust
• Empathy
• Humility

Trust

Trust is huge in collaboration. You can’t really have fluid collaboration in a way that encourages experimentation and innovation if trust does not exist. Why? Because with experimentation and innovation lends the potential outcome of failure, which stirs up a lot of feelings in people. But, those outcomes can be much easily managed and talked about in the moment if there is trust within the partnership.

What does it look like if you do not have trust in a working relationship?

With your manager, if you feel you can’t share that you made a mistake at work, feel uncertain about how to give feedback to your manager, or might be experiencing overwhelm; there is an opportunity for trust building here. It starts with you starting small, but still hitting on one of these areas to keep the sentiment vulnerable.

What does it look like if you do have trust in a working relationship?

Using a project manager and UX designer example, your PM should feel comfortable telling you about their hesitation about commiting to a design decision, instead of saying “no” right away and pulling the scope card. Your project manager may be inclined to keep you in the loop of what upcoming projects they may want you to work on, bonus points if they ask for your input on what type of projects you want to work on. Basically they are sharing early and often of ‘infant’ thoughts they may have and see you as a valuable trustee and partner to executing projects, even before it is in UX hands.

Empathy

Listening with empathy is something UX designers innately do as they hear customer’s pain points of a product. We are listening to understand where the user is coming from and we have an eager ear to want to do something about it. Well, listening with empathy to hear out your collaborators is equally as necessary. Where this skill can be represented most is during points of tension from disagreement. The biggest lesson I learned these past 2 years is disagreeing is okay. As we’re brainstorming and riffing off ideas, its inevitable to disagree with an idea your collaborators have. But, how you make space for disagreement is what draws the line between you potentially being steamrolled/a people pleaser or intimidating/insensitive. Radical candor delves more into this very bluntly.

Thanks to a wise coworker, she said its important to “understand, rather than seek to be understood”. This is a great lens to have during times of disagreement.

What does it look like if you do not have empathy in a working relationship?

If you do not have empathy with yourself, you may be too hard on yourself when receiving feedback on your design, feedback on how you can improve your craft, or a creeping self-doubt as it relates to how capable you feel of executing a project.

The opportunity here is to give yourself grace and not take feedback personal in a way that you equate critical feedback with your competency. To start small would be to feel the uncomfortable feelings you have when receiving feedback, recognize they are just thoughts, and slowly retrain your brain that it is not a dramatic moment as it is making it to seem.

What does it look like if you do have empathy in a working relationship?

If you do have empathy with yourself, it may be easier to put yourself out there through presenting WIP designs, asking for feedback/input, and knowing when to take a break (walk, reading a book, or grabbing some 1:1 time with a coworker to chat about things outside of work).

Humility

Humility is what lends collaboration to truly be oriented as a team. Whether you work on a project team or are part of a sports team, having humility is what will allow each player to work towards their strengths, be assisted in their ‘weaknesses’, and make it over the finish line while still appreciating what each person brings to the table.

What does it look like if you do not have humility in a working relationship?

It could look like working individually too often or not being communicative for parts of the project, having a difficult time sharing work early and often to collaborators because of a fear of being wrong, and not accepting or asking for help when experiencing a work roadblock.

What does it look like if you do have humility in a working relationship?

Between a designer and content strategist working hand in hand on a problem, it would look like an even baton pass during collaboration in the pixels, but also when presenting work. It can also look like either party admitting when they may have made a mistake. And lastly, and more positively, it looks like either party giving the other their flowers. A genuine acknowledgement about someone’s hard work and how that made the project better can go a long way.

If you’re wondering, how this makes you an enjoyable person to work with…

Harboring these interpersonal traits make you an enjoyable person to work with because it allows you to be authentic at work, which is a win, and it allows your collaborators to truly lean on each other. In the team dynamic, everyone can play to their strengths and have a growth mindset to get opportunities to shape their ‘weaknesses’ in a more productive way.